Friday, 11 May 2012
The Past, The Present and the Future
I have been trying to escape my past for a while now, I thought moving to a new town where I knew no one, deleting my old facebook and just ignoring everyone would work. It doesn't. My past follows me everywhere, the only way to escape it would be to cut ties with everyone. Including Paul. Which I can't do. I love him too much. So how do I face my past? Last weekend I saw the only other person I have cared about almost as much as Paul, he was my gay best friend who thought it was okay to beat me. I was visiting Paul (which happens to be my old hometown so its full of all the horrid people from my past) and we saw each other. We met each others eyes and then I looked away and kept walking. I felt strange afternoons, not sad, not angry just surprised. This person who was once such a huge part of my life is nothing but a bad memory. I can't help but thinking of the Gotye song, just someone I used to know. Its how I am going to deal with living in my home town again, I just smile and say I used to know you. That's it. There are many good people who I love who also happen to live there. I just need to keep remembering that. Not all the horrid things of my past. I need to step away from the memories. They can't hurt me anymore.