Friday, 11 May 2012

The Past, The Present and the Future

I have been trying to escape my past for a while now, I thought moving to a new town where I knew no one, deleting my old facebook and just ignoring everyone would work. It doesn't. My past follows me everywhere, the only way to escape it would be to cut ties with everyone. Including Paul. Which I can't do. I love him too much. So how do I face my past? Last weekend I saw the only other person I have cared about almost as much as Paul, he was my gay best friend who thought it was okay to beat me. I was visiting Paul (which happens to be my old hometown so its full of all the horrid people from my past) and we saw each other. We met each others eyes and then I looked away and kept walking. I felt strange afternoons, not sad, not angry just surprised. This person who was once such a huge part of my life is nothing but a bad memory. I can't help but thinking of the Gotye song, just someone I used to know. Its how I am going to deal with living in my home town again, I just smile and say I used to know you. That's it. There are many good people who I love who also happen to live there. I just need to keep remembering that. Not all the horrid things of my past. I need to step away from the memories. They can't hurt me anymore.

1 comment:

  1. Hello,

    My name is Leigh. Your exceptional blog deals with depression awareness and I know you are familiar with the importance of mental health. It is for these reasons that I contact you today.

    I am ‘every woman’, the girl next door and the one you never would have suspected, however, for years I have been struggling with depression. I have written a book about my experiences entitled “The Blue Veil”.

    Through this book, it is my aim to reduce the stigma of depression by increasing awareness of the issue. I am donating a large percentage of the proceeds to 15 carefully chosen mental health awareness organizations worldwide. I have provided the list of these organizations at the end of this email.

    This is where you come in. I am organizing a 2 month long online book release campaign, structured around various depression awareness weeks around the world. It will be from July 1st to August 31st. My request is, during this period of time would you be willing to host me on your blog for a few days of those months? This can be carried out in a few ways:
    -I would send you a couple/few articles that talk about my book and of course depression awareness. You would post these articles on your blog over a few days during those months (letting me know which days you will choose)
    -You could write your own prose about “The Blue Veil” and depression awareness and post these articles on your blog over the course of the months (letting me know which days you will choose).
    Now you may be wondering what is in this for you and your blog? Well, I could provide you with a free version of “The Blue Veil”. You could also review the depression awareness organizations, which I will send to you, to see if there is one you would like to be included and I will certainly look into it.

    More on “The Blue Veil”:
    Up to 58 MILLION suffer from it in the US alone, and VERY FEW talk about it. Is it your friend, colleague or neighbor? Now, finally, ‘The Blue Veil’ brings a modern, raw account of depression. Read it and understand your loved ones better. Be assured that no one is alone.

    ``Leigh has everything going for her when the unthinkable happens. She loses control of her own emotions and everything in her life begins to slip away. With a marriage strained to the brink, the loss of her father, fertility issues and the loss of her job, will Leigh be able to move beyond The Blue Veil and take back control of her future?``

    Thanks so much for your consideration and efforts. I understand that you are busy, so I wanted to express my sincere gratitude. It is with great respect for you and your blog that I write this email and it would mean so much to me to have your readers aware of my efforts.

    Please do not hesitate to contact me at any time if you have any questions regarding my request.
    Sincerely yours,
    Leigh Turgeon
    Twitter: @leighslead
    The Blue Veil Blog
    FB Page The Blue Veil
    FB Page Leigh Turgeon