Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Adjustment

Adjustment disorder is a group of symptoms, such as stress, feeling sad or hopeless, and physical symptoms that can occur after you go through a stressful life event.
The symptoms occur because you are having a hard time coping, and the reaction is stronger or greater than what would be expected for the type of event that occurred.

A major depressive episode is the cluster of symptoms of major depressive disorder, characterized by severe, highly persistent depression, and a loss of interest or pleasure in everyday activities, which is often manifested by lack of appetite, chronic fatigue, and sleep disturbances (somnipathy). The individual may think about suicide, and indeed an increased risk of actual suicide is present.


-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

At 17 years old when I uprooted my entire life to start again in Brisbane I was happy......at least at first then I had my first major depressive episode since I was 16. I had hoped the black dog had been chased away for good but I was wrong. Almost 12 months ago I uprooted my life again during an extremely bad depressive episode where my meds stopped working and they put me on tranquilizer type meds for a bit which just made me into a zombie. I then moved here where I knew no one and started the first professional job of my career. I struggled and hated myself, hated here and then I finally settled in......to be uprooted once again to go live with Paul back in my hometown. I am scared. Scared I am going to have another major depressive episode brought on my adjustment disorder (diagnosed at 18).

I think being scared of depression is almost as bad as having it. Once you've danced with the black dog you are afraid of it coming back. Its horrible. But in two days time I will pack up my life once again to try and start a life with Paul.

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