Monday, 27 February 2012

If I could go back in time to talk to my 17 year old self

I keep having dreams about going back in time to being in high school (FYI: 2003 - 2007) and panicking because I need Paul but he doesn't know who I am (despite living in the same town our whole lives we never crossed paths until last year when my best friend introduced him/thrust him in my general direction).

Then I wake up thinking about if I spoke to my seventeen old self would I warn her of all the horrid things to come? At that point in time I had years of negligent parents but that emotional abuse wouldn't surface until I left home and started drinking heavily. Would I warn myself that my best male friend would end up punching me while I was drunk (more than once)? Would I tell her not to talk to my friend's boyfriend ever as he will rape me? Would I tell her not to live with that guy from work because he and his sister are on drugs?

Or would I tell her about Paul? And how I did achieve everything she thinks she is going to do? Travel, get a degree, be a writer etc.

I don't know if I would try to change my life as all these things made me the person I am today.

Or would I just tell her to get help for depression ASAP instead of drinking?

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